This last couple of years has been a whirlwind of personal development for me. So much has changed that I thought maybe I should write some of the big learning down. I had to stop myself at 10 because I could go on for a long time… These are not necessarily in order of importance, just in order of when they came to mind.
1) Self care is not selfish. I am solely responsible for making sure that I feel my best and looking out for my physical mental health is not only not selfish, but is required and helps me give more and give more freely to those around me.
2) It’s not what happened in the past that bothers me, it’s how I react to it today. Everything that already happened is not happening now. What makes the pain continue is the way that I think about what occurred. I have the power to change how the past impacts me today.
3) You don’t have to play small to be polite. Being polite is not the same as never taking a turn, never speaking up or never letting anyone know what you think about things. I can be myself and still be polite and kind to others.
4) People really don’t know what you want. You really do have to tell them. What may be obvious to me is unseeable and unknowable to others. If I intend to have a feeling about how they respond to my wants and needs, I’d better communicate all of that clearly.
5) There is nobody like me in the universe. Yup, I finally got that.
6) Dressing entirely for comfort does not make me comfortable. It may work for other people, but I do like to use other criteria once in a while and when I only go for comfort for too long, my self-esteem suffers.
7) People really do want to know me better. That’s why they ask questions, make arrangements, talk to me when we’re in the same place. They’re not just being polite. “They like me. They really like me.”
8) I am the obstacle to people knowing me better. When I’m feeling isolated or like I don’t really have close friends, it’s most likely because I am holding them at bay OR I’m not paying attention to myself and my own needs. I am missing myself and shutting down opportunities for real connection.
9) Sleep is the key to my day to day functioning. Of all the things I do to take exceptional care of myself, sleep is the one that can make or break me. Everything else seems recoverable in a short period of time, but not enough sleep and it could ruin my whole day.
10) Asking for help often results in an avalanche of love. Let the avalanche begin.
What lessons have you learned lately? Were they hard won? How have they changed things for you?