It’s All About the Definition of Success

Sometimes I get caught up.

I have goals and desires and I get so caught up in that I begin to punish myself in ways that I don’t even see initially.

I work very hard.

Sometimes I don’t know when to stop working.

Slide1Sometimes I get upset because the other parts of my life want my attention and I have SO much to do. Sometimes that frustration is real. Dinner’s cooking; I’m writing between occasional stirs at the stovetop; the dog is freaking out and someone comes in with a Level 1 driveway landing. THAT is the moment that I’m right that I have too much to do.

Other times, like when my children are on Spring Break and I’m still trying to do as much work as I would when they are at school, that’s when I’m wrong. Because I simply failed to adjust my goalposts. I insisted on holding myself to an impossible standard. The results: frustration and resentment on my part AND a very nearly missed opportunity to spend some quality time with them while they are still at an age where they want to do that.

I realized I had to change my definition of success: this week success is not my usual definition that is some blend of professional connection and productivity. These last few precious days of break, success will be doing what I absolutely MUST do for my practice, and spending time with my family and my stunning children. It will be okay. Everything will be okay. I can be successful AND be with them. I just have to change my mind. Done.

Where in your life have you set the goalposts so high or far away that you can never realistically reach them? Are you motivating yourself or disappointing yourself regularly? What goal would feel like, as a coach friend said, a stretch not a splat? Where could you move those goal posts so they would push you toward something you might actually be able to achieve? Don’t worry; you can always set another harder goal AFTER that one.

Peace,

julia

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