Concerning Resolution Bashing

I’ve seen a lot of memes out there… I could probably start many different blog posts with that same phrase… I’ve seen a lot of memes out there taking a poke at the idea of making a resolution or starting afresh in the new year. And I get it.

pexels-photo-221247I think I’ve probably been in the resolution bashing camp in the past. I’ve decided it was silly to make myself a promise of change just because the calendar says it’s time to and when I know that in the past those promises have worn out by mid-February. So I get it. I get that hearing someone declare that they’re going to be a new person in the new year makes some folks roll their eyes and maybe even utter a chuckle or a sigh. I get that we know that those kinds of promises can be hard to fulfill. I get that so many of our good intentions don’t turn out the way we want them to. I get that seeing someone rearing with enthusiasm we don’t feel can be uncomfortable. But really?

Are we really against the idea of someone deciding to try to change, even if it’s never worked before? Are we really wanting to mock someone who’s trying to improve themselves? Are we so sure that you wouldn’t succeed that we’ve decided the whole enterprise is ridiculous? I think there are lots of reasons behind this resolution bashing thing, but I can only talk about my own.

When I was a resigned resolution basher, it had everything to do with previous failures and being terrified of success. When it came to my weight I didn’t want to make a resolution because I knew my enthusiasm would wane in a few months. Why make a promise I can’t keep FOREVER? When it came to changing some of my habits, I decided that “I yam who I yam” (even if I don’t like it very much). When it came to taking some risks in my professional life, well, yeah, no resolutions there because that’s just WAY too frightening.

I’ve done some work on all of those things – without resolutions, and looking back at those moments from the other side makes me wonder if making a resolution is all about success. Maybe there are other things to be gained in that whole process. Maybe trying and failing is better than staying firmly planted exactly where we are. Maybe a resolution is an opportunity to force a little action, and sometimes a little action is all it takes.

pexels-photo-636243The truth is that this opportunity of celebrating the new year with a new goal is one that shouldn’t be missed. Maybe you’re not interested in buying a gym membership that you will only use for a month. But maybe you DO have a super secret goal, a tiny burning desire that you haven’t told anyone about. Maybe this moment in time when we get to start new things on a clean page of a fresh planner is a great time to ask yourself what you can do today to get just one step closer to that super secret goal. And then tomorrow? You can take another one. Maybe that’s all it needs to be. You don’t need to tell anyone. You don’t need to declare it on Facebook. Maybe you just need to say it to yourself so you can stop hiding it from your heart and from your amazing brilliant brain. Give that dream some energy and some air; maybe something can come of it after all.

Happy New Year Friends.

xo,

julia

In the Post-Present Quiet

One big last hurrah for 2017!

Or maybe it’s not a hurrah for you.

Maybe you’re totally ready to get rid of 2017.

It’s a mixed bag for me. There are parts I would prefer to never do again and parts that make me excited and proud.

Making 2018 greatI find that the time after all of the present and food madness is a really nice time to take a few minutes to reflect on the year that has passed, well before that moment of resolution-making rears its annoying head.

I like to think about what went well this year, acknowledge my growth and my accomplishments. I like to take the time to see the changes I’ve created in my life and, by extension, in the lives of people around me. I make a note of steps I’ve taken, things I’ve done (even if terrified while doing them), and impacts I’ve had. I also like to take a tour through the precious moments that deserve a second showing.

And then, feeling pretty well-buoyed up by all of that goodness, I give some air time to the things that didn’t go so well. Mistakes I made, things I failed at, stuff that didn’t work out, plans I abandoned, battles with myself (lose-lose). I review the heartache and the sorrows. And I ask if there is anything more I need to learn from those moments. I ask the sky, the universe, anyone who might be listening if there is something more to gain from all of that, just on the off chance they might just tell me so I don’t have to sort it out myself.

My review of the past year complete, I do my best to have a vision of the next year. I picture myself on a regular day, perhaps before all of the holiday madness next year. What will I be doing? Where will I be? Who will be there? How will I feel? What parts of my day are exciting? What will have changed? And I notice.  I notice what parts of that vision feel good. I notice what parts of that vision are scary, but still good. I notice what parts of that vision I am perfectly ready to discard as impossible (and I question that thought). I notice what parts of that vision show me the work that I have yet to do.

Making next year betterAnd I use that vision. I use the feelings of the future to guide my present. I set a flag firmly where I want to be and begin to navigate a path with thought, word, and deed that will make that destination inevitable.

So when that moment comes, and someone asks me, I will answer that IF I have a resolution, it is only this: to act on my vision in 2018.

XO,

j