Soul Sisters – How to Get Some

Just got back from a whirlwind training and retreat in Savannah, GA. While we were there, my new friends and I were marveling over how well we got along, how easy it seemed to open up and share, to spend time together, to accommodate each other, to spend time in common space. These are things that have not always been easy for me, and yet I came away from my 6 day trip with soul sisters. I shared things with this group of women I hadn’t told anybody before. And then I came home, and found them all online where we gather every day to greet, share, and encourage. And I stand in wonder, so tempted to think it was the way we came together. It was the power of the gathering that made the difference… but my wise self knows better. Continue reading

Has Your Play Turned Into Work?

Hey friends…

I have just gotten back from an amazing trip.

I had training with Susan Hyatt and 6 other soon to be BARE coaches in Savannah, Georgia.

The city was beautiful. The weather was perfect. The house and the hospitality were beyond comfortable. The company was stellar AND we spent half a day talking about PLEASURE!!! Oh yeah. Continue reading

There Are Many I’s in Team

I’ve heard it. You’ve heard it. We’ve ALL heard it some time or another: there is no I in team. It’s one of those super swell sentences meant to diminish individual desire in favor of the group goal. You’re on a team. You are no longer an I.

Obliterating the “I” in terms of ego… I get it. I really do. You can’t hog the ball in hopes of scoring every goal when someone else has a better shot. You can’t do a instrumental solo in the middle of the verse. You can’t eat all of the chocolate cake for the family party. You can’t do any of these things and still be working for the good of the group. Yeah, I get it, but still NO “I” in team? NONE? I have a problem with it. Well, I have a couple of problems with it. Continue reading

10 Ways to Take a Quick Break

It doesn’t matter who you are, how much you love what you do, how much help you have, sometimes we ALL need a break. If you’re anything like I used to be, though, you’ve got a really long list of stuff to do and the thought of taking a break actually makes you feel more anxious than just plowing through (is there even a remote chance you’re going to complete that list, BTW?). So you hunker down, you hunch over, you dig in, you get another cup of coffee and push through you tedium superhero, you! I’m teasing a little, but only because I’ve been there. Continue reading

Take Back Your Yes!

So I have this friend, yeah, let’s say she’s a friend. She used to be torn in a million directions because 1) she’s in a career that requires both serious intellectual and creative time alone AND extensive interaction with folks known and unknown, 2) she has hobbies that require both extensive time practicing and interacting with folks known and lesser known, 3) she tends toward the slightly introverted and sensitive side and can be overwhelmed by a jam packed schedule and a lack of quiet down time, 4) she has young children that require her time and attention, AND 5) she has not always been good at saying no. I’m confident some wording changes in the previous items would make them apply to LOTS of people. I get the feeling many of you are feeling stretched thin like my friend used to be.

slide1She sprinkled her yeses across her universe. Yes, work. Yes, singing. Yes, kids. Yes, favor. Yes, coffee. Yes, dog. Yes, choir. Yes, lunch. Yes, phone call. Yes, homemade valentines. Yes, training class. Yes, laundry. Yes, exercise. Yes, neighbor chat. Yes, grocery store. Yes, veterinarian. Yes, laundry. Yes, family gathering. Yes, editing help. Yes, friend in crisis. Yes, blog post. Yes, other friend in crisis. Yes, women’s networking lunch. Yes, family obligation. Yes, laundry (where does all the daggone laundry come from?). Yes, volunteering at school. Yes, web design overhaul. Yes, library run for family. Yes, dry cleaning run. Yes, moderator phone call for disputing loved ones. Yes, video class. Yes, food delivery for sick parishioner. Yes, proofread for friend. Yes, new website. Yes, family menu. Yes, errands for ALL of the THINGS. Yes, plan a trip. Yes, read the homework. Yes, find the glasses. Yes, sign the forms. Yes, clean the retainer. Yes, fix the toilet. Yes, change the vent filters. Yes, plant a garden. Yes, cut the lawn. Yes, trim the hedges. Yes, committee. Yes, benefit concert. Yes, give me lots of plants from your garden. Yes, I will plant the plants. Yes, what can I bring? Yes, yes, yes, freaking yes. Continue reading

FEAR

I’ve been noticing lately just how much fear seems to be in the air.

It’s in my clients.

It’s in my friends.

It’s in my family.

And lord is it all over social media.

It takes so many forms. It comes out swinging. It pulls in tight, withdrawing from all. It spurs on endless chains of logic in hopes of thinking our way out. It fuels our outrage. It paralyzes us. It keeps us awake as it analyzes all of the potential risks.

I’ve noticed too that people seem to think of fear as being of two different kinds. There’s the internal kind, the nattering voice that says: “You can’t do that. You’ll fail. Nobody will like you.” Continue reading

Confusion is a Lie

“Confusion is always a lie,” said Brooke Castillo in one of her Life Coach School podcasts. Whoa. Maybe that’s not a big statement to YOU but boy howdy did it land with me. Let me explain a little.

I am a life coach, but this is not my first chosen profession. Heck, it’s not even my second, which is not to say that it isn’t the best for me, which it is…. oh boy. This may get complicated, but NOT confusing. A little mini bio for you.

When I finished college with my bright shiny liberal arts degree (more like Nittany blue and shiny), I had absolutely no idea what I wanted to do to support myself. To be honest, I’m not even sure I had any idea what I wanted to study while there. I knew what I didn’t want, and that helps, but it’s a big world and you can’t get where you want to be just through the process of elimination. I guess you can if you want, but man that’s a slow process. Continue reading

A Calm in the Digital Storm

I admit I’ve been feeling the pull lately.

giphyI’ve been spending too much time on social media, listening to the news a lot, quickly reading and sharing an awful lot of information. It’s gotten to me, pushed me over the brink a little. And truth is, there’s plenty going on in the world every day about which we could justifiably feel pushed over the brink.

The thing is, my being in that space doesn’t help. It doesn’t help me (for sure – I’d hate to see where my stress hormones are registering these days). It doesn’t help others if I lose my head and fail to think clearly, receive with compassion, respond with reason and love. It doesn’t help my clients if I’m distracted. It doesn’t help my family if I’m not present. It doesn’t help the world if I read the 10th version of the same piece of information. All I’m doing is inflicting repeated trauma on myself. I found myself in this position this morning. I had planned to do some writing work, putting together some programs and packages, but my Facebook feed got in the way. And then I stayed there, chained to my screen, reading what was basically the same thing over and over and over again; reading, sharing, reading, sharing.  It was a bit of a mess, and so was I. And we both know it doesn’t take national turmoil to have this kind of reaction to trouble. We get sucked into messes of all kinds on the regular. Continue reading